We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize