I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
