but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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