yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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