he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize