We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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