ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize