I'm sorry my penis didn't work
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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