you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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