Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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