So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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