So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
