Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
