Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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