Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
