So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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