Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
