He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
