You just made me feel so damn special
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
what day is it and did you see me today?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
