I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
