At least make sure they are 18
Why
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
