We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
