So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
