I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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