let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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