I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
