yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
