uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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