Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
