There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
