He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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