He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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