How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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