but the lizard people decide everything anyway
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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