is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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