I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
