But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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