Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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