dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That's when you crack a 10am beer
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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