This girl is more easily done than said...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
