So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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