she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
