I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think my moral compass just broke
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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