If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
