so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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