You work out of a Hotel?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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