Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
