you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
