I just pynch a tree in the face
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
