I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize