Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
