it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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