better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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