The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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