How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I AM VODKA MAN
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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