lets start a swedish sibling band together
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
