I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
