im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
