There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
