I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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