So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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