Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
