Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
