You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
