dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
