i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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