I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
