haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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